Thoughts From a Mothers Heart

I wonder if it is any coincidence that our pastor has been preaching on the book of Revelation with this new info that the end times are coming this Saturday.. now if I know anything I know that the end times will NOT be this Saturday... but it got me to thinking about the idea of the rapture... I am not here to argue when it will happen .. but the question that has kinda been bugging me  in the back of my mind since sr. high youth group... do babies go to heaven?  I have always cherished the idea about the age of innocence, before the child could make a decision about Jesus in their life and Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, "let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these". If you know me at all you know how I feel about the idea of lying to my children... from  Santa Clause to the Easter Bunny... the only awesome amazing stories I want my children to BELIEVE in are those in the Bible. Parents have a bunch of say in the lives of their children as far as what they teach them to believe in... but at 4 and almost 2 are MY children old enough to make the choice for Jesus because THEY want to ... or is it just because that is what I have told them?
As a mother I find my children to be MOST of what I spend my time thinking about and praying about. So basically I feel my life is totally intertwined with theirs. Is this the way God intended it to be?


Last evening I was considering the rapture, thinking out loud with my husband... I know my salvation is secure but what about my children. I found it very difficult to imagine Heaven without them he asked the question would I even notice... this really took me off guard of COURSE I would notice they are my children I would weep for them every day if they were not with me!... after my initial angry reaction I took time to think about the question.. would I even notice? I would be in the presence of the Lord and he is going to be amazing... my awesome sinful children will never compare to his perfection. I bible describes heaven to be a wonderful place, and there will be no crying in heaven... so if my children are sentenced to Hell I won't know it? or I won't care?
I can not imagine that that could be possible... here on earth the idea of life with out my children is traumatic to say the least. I find peace in the thought of them going to be with the Lord before me however devastating the thought... I  think I could be OK with that... if I HAD to...


This fear that continues to resurface in my life, does it mean that I have not given everything to the Lord? can I be fully content here on earth with Jesus, without my children like I would be in Heaven or have a created a kind of idol out of my children that is preventing me to be fully happy and trust in the Lord?... or is unconditional LOVE I have the way God designed it to be...

...Ramblings from a mothers heart....